Aspergers on comedy

Posted: July 24, 2012 in comedy
Tags: , , ,

Aspergers on comedy. If you have been following this post you may wonder why I do stand-up comedy, because I am extremely self-conscious and insecure. However, for some reason I always want to be the center of attention. Which seems like a contradiction because if your standing in front of everyone they will see your flaws and your inadequacies. Perhaps I figure that if people are laughing at my joke it means they like me and accept me for who I am. Maybe if they see how funny I am they will want to be my friend. Even this seems contradictory like saying this is how I am messed up don’t you still want to be friends with me. Some people are really clever and are able to make statements about the outside world like Matt Nightingale and get their laughs that way, it definitely seems like the better way to go because you are not holding up your flaws in front of people, however I cannot, most of my laughs come from poking fun at myself.

I have always known I was funny or that at least people laugh with/at me and when your on the stage you definitely cannot tell the difference because a chuckle is a chuckle and a laugh is a laugh. I figured doing stand-up comedy would be easy just opening up a wound and letting the humor flow out. That I would be making money at it in no time. I was sadly mistaken and that it is much harder than it looks. It takes years before you can make a somewhat steady paycheque if you ever get paid at all. The only way however, is to charge forward in it as if you know you have talent that you may or may not have. Another interesting thing is it is impossible to know ahead of time what will work, there is no reason or rhyme to it.

Having Aspergers sometimes my sense of humor does not match the rest of the audience and sometimes things that I don’t think will be funny are hilarious. It’s impossible to understand what will get laughs and this is horrible for someone who wants the world to make sense and can’t just go with the flow. Therefore, you are constantly on the edge of quitting because you just want the world to make sense and are fustrated because some joke that killed in the past is bombing with the audience only to get back-up on the stage one last time and to become addicted to the laughter all over again. I guess that is why I do stand-up comedy.

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