Archive for August 1, 2012

Maybe they are right that people with Aspergers have no imagination because I definitely could not commit and imagine things that did not exist the way the improvers did last night. When the improvers picked apples they actually envisioned seeing the apples that they were picking and were thus able to mime it accurately. I could pretend I am picking apples but I would never be able to see them using my mind’s view that it would have the same clarity and accuracy they did last night. I can’t really imagine anything that I do that requires me to use my imagination as much. Sure I am a stand-up comedian but thats just finding the funny in things that already exist and not pulling them out of thin air. Also the way how they interact with each other in the most subtle ways and have conversations within conversations. Lady I do not do subtle, I do stumbly and brass. That’s why one of my classmates told me I would never have been a knight in the middle ages but rather a blacksmith with a big war axe which makes sense.

All I can do is marvel at their skill. Improver’s I salute you.

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I am the biggest dreamer, therefore, you would think I would simply become a acoustic guitarist and sing songs about peace. Maybe this would help me with the ladies as all ladies love dirty hippies. However, I can’t carry a tune for the love of me. This is not suprising and is the case with most people who have Aspergers. Most of us have a hard time reading tonal language, therefore, it is no suprise that we would have a hard time with hearing different notes when singing and playing instruments. It does not matter if you can play all the different chords if you can’t hear the music you can’t play music plan and simple.  I even went to a fancy singing teacher who was training to be an opera star, however, it is not clear even in my own head if I was paying her to try and teach me to sing because I believed I could learn or if I was paying her to essentially hangout with me because I was so lonely that summer.  Maybe, it’s like the rest of my crazy dreams like how I one day will become a paid comedian, that when life gets shitty you need something to believe in no matter how ungrounded it is. Maybe its because everything that most people take for granted such as having a romantic relationship seems like an exotic dream to me and not something in the realm of reality.