Archive for August 14, 2012

There are all kinds of stupid movies out there from the really stupid to the moderately stupid. Some of these stupid movies have a sacred place in our hearts. Here are my top 10 ten sacred dumb movies.

1. Clueless. Cher Horowitz is brilliant in her shallow clueless way.

 

2. Legally Blonde. Is there a pattern here? A beautiful blonde who plays someone who seems completely clueless and then has a way of weaving into our hearts. I really enjoyed this movie, lots of people would say its just dumb and I say no its a dumb feel good movie. Although Legally Blonde 2 Red, White and Blue should never have been made.

3. Captain Orgaszmo. A hilarious take on the porn industry, when an innocent mormon is in the wrong place at the wrong time and is given the lead role in a porno where he plays a superhero Captain Orgaszmo who eventually becomes a real life hero.

 

4. Spice World. The Spice girls had a huge comeback show at the closing ceremony and their movie was ridiculously dumb but feel good.

5. Surf Ninjas. Three teenagers, who are surfers find out that they are really princes and somehow automatically become good fighters taking on trained ninjas to save the day. Because ninjsitu and surfing have sooo much in common.  

6. The New Kids on the Block movie. Needs no more description if you are in mood for a really bad movie watch it.

7. Kazaam. Shaq plays a genie. Shaq may be the most entertaining basketball player of all time, but he is definitely no actor.

8.  Hot Fuzz. I was unsure about listing this one because its the only one on the list which seems like it was intentionally dumb. It’s about a big city cop moving to a small city. 

I know most people are expecting Dumb and Dumber to make the list but really I did not enjoy it enough. Also Borat, and Bruneau are not dumb enough to make the list. Soul Plane is plenty dumb but it was terrible and I refuse to list it.

9. Baseketball. This movie about making a mix between basketball and baseball had some really funny moments.

10. While I am going to leave the 10th spot open to suggestions from readers.

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At the end of the Olympics I question whether I was right in my previous post about the Olympics. Is it really a waste of money? Yes it is a lot of money but who can say that they weren’t carried away as the Canadian women’s soccer team almost upset the American powerhouse only to lose due to some bad refereeing. Is this really the best time to decide whether the olympics are a good use of money when people are so emotional? I don’t know I mean right now I’m thinking libraries are so unromantic, who cares about health care when that money could be used for knocking that superior look off of the American Women’s soccer team.

Is there anything that can be as uplifting as watching the South African man without legs compete against men with legs? I mean as a person with Aspergers I felt like his triumph was all of our triumph giving a kick in the groin to the status quo. And on such a grand stage. If you ask me that is absolutely priceless and can not be factored into dollars and pennies.  There is no spreadsheet that can calculate the good feeling that came out of that. Watching Usain Bolt demolish everyone in grand fashion was amazing and it did not cost Canadians a penny. Did it have to be Canadian’s to beat the American female soccer team that would have brought me joy or would anyone beating them make me happy? Could Canada really just enjoy the Olympics from the sidelines, and have the incredible joy and satisfaction from the games I think so. 

We didn’t even achieve our goal of finishing in the top 12 because smaller countries such as Hungary finished with better performances than we did. Is it because they are Hungarier than we are? Maybe Canadians are just not meant to be athletes and we are better as musicians and in other fields of endeavor? Winnipeg definitely kicks ass in improv with Crumbs, and Outside joke so maybe that should be our calling card instead of sports. If we gave them the money I think we would get a much better return on the dollar. If we are generous I think maybe Hot Thespian Action could use a few dollars to compete against the Americans and also some money to me for setting up this alternative.