Archive for August 15, 2012

I am going to try and explain the challenges of reading body language for me and other people with Aspergers right now.

Italics will play inner dialogue. Bold will play external dialogue.

Wow, a girl is looking at me. It could be multiple options is there something on my face/ am I in their way?

No, they are smiling so obviously that cannot be it. Okay umm, are they just being friendly or do they like me?  The only way I can find out is if I ask them; because I am not getting any signals. But wait, if I simply go ahead and ask them; maybe that will put them in an awkward situation and turn them off.  I am going to stare at their chest because from basketball I learnt that is the center of the body, it’s easier to go up and down from there with my eyes. Look, are they indicating anything with their feet. What about the way their arms are? If their feet point towards me that is a good sign, but if their feet are pointing in opposite directions, shoot I forget what that means. If their feet are facing the exit than they are obviously bored and want to get out of this conversation. Their arms aren’t crossed, that’s a good sign. Any little twitch could be a sign you don’t want to miss anything.  She’s playing with her fingernails, is that a sign of boredom or a sign of grooming herself because I read somewhere that grooming oneself is a sign of interest.  Now proceed to look at them in the face. Back to the body, wow she has really nice breasts. Not to big, not to small, and look how round they are. She’s definitely wearing a bra. Wow did she just catch me staring?

So what do you do?”

Okay. That’s not the worst line, keep up the small talk. Wait is my staring at her intensely beginning to make her feel awkward? Look away, dammit. Don’t make her feel awkward. Wait, if I look away will she think that I am not interested in her and that I’m not really listening? Is it an indication of boredom? What is my body doing? Am I conveying signs of interest without being overeager and am I matching her body language and where she’s at.

Oh ya, is that interesting?” 

Wait. Am I beginning to focus too much on myself and in my head? Am I in the moment? Wow this is exhausting? What am I doing the rest of the day?


Hmm, I wonder why that didn’t go so well. What was her body trying to tell me? She totally isn’t interested in me at all. Stop being so negative, maybe she is. How can she be interested in me when I make her feel so unnatural? Conversation usually flows so smoothly like tennis back and forth, back and forth. In this case, it was more of you hit it, she hit back, you had no clue how to play the shoot and you spent twenty minutes trying to figure out whether to bump it or set it. You’re mixing your sports metaphors. You probably misinterpreted something and played the wrong shot, but the only way to know is at the end of the game. It looks like this game is going to be pretty short. Speaking of short, she’s really not that tall is she? Will she prefer a guy closer to her own height? Oh well, you can’t control that.

At this point I am usually quite negative and am about ready to give up any hope I have of this girl having any romantic interest in me and call it a wash. This negativity is the death of any hope of anything that may have existed in the first place. That is what usually goes through the head of me and other people with Aspergers or Autism when it comes to reading body language. I hope, this has been insightful and provides a bit more clarity with what is going on in my head every single time I talk to a girl. Talking to a guy is a similar script but is a slight variation on this internal script for one thing configuring around the fact that I am trying to instigate a platonic relationship not a romantic one, which can often be just as hard and frightening.