Aspergers on two types of annoying people

Posted: September 11, 2012 in aspergers, life, Uncategorized
Tags: , , ,

 homer drunk

I like to have fun as much as the next person, however,  there are two types of people whose idea of a good time, varies so drastically from my own that I want to focus on them for a second.

     For example, the term “to party” to me this term means to go out and have a good time with your friends. However, if you listen to most people “to party” means to go out and drink and that it automatically can’t be a party without alcohol. Let’s get things straight, I am no tee-totaller who is anti-alcohol. I like to drink within reason as much as the next person. I don’t think binge drinking in order to get in an alternate mind space is the only way of partying or even the best way of partying. I mean I have been to just as many fun parties where the main event is not based around alcohol if not more. For example, my one friend throws a wicked cake and shake party. A cake and shake party is exactly how it sounds, a party where you drink milkshakes of all kinds of varieties, okay all kinds of fruit varieties, and eat cake. The last one was thrown at this warehouse, so not only was there the usual mass consumption of calories, but there was also musicians who performed and afterwards there was lasser tag which took me back to the days of yore. It was incredible good company a good mix of various types of music from folk to light rock as well as tons of great food. There was this chocolate cake to die for. As well, there were these incredible cupcakes which make me slobber just thinking about them. To many people’s definitions this was definitely a party, but guess what? There was no alcohol. Some people would grumble and moan “where’s the fun in that?” “Give me an alley and a 2-4 any day!” Well to those people  I say have a milkshake, open your ears and try not to be a waste of space and of my time because if that is your attitude than frankly mister I really don’t want to hear it.  Alcohol makes some situations less awkward and is great but if drinking is your sole idea of a good time than I don’t really think there is much that we will agree on so have fun destroying your liver and acting like a jackass somewhere else.

Picture from Shake and Bake courtesy of Paul Little.

  Then there is another really annoying group of people who think the whole point of going out is to have sex. I have not had sex, so hey it could be incredible but if the only reason why you are leaving your house is to have sex than you are ridiculous. 90% of the time these people will have gone home upset because unless you are some kind of “god” you will go home alone. If your only godly power is the ability to make women want to have sex with you, friend you got the shitty end when godly powers were being handed out. Poseidon is the god of the Ocean which is pretty cool. He can pretty much control anything to do with the water. Hades can bring people back to life or take their life. Making drunk girls want to have sex with you as your godly power in comparison is quite lame. I mean Poseidon and Zues still got laid pretty frequently but they didn’t waste all their time on trying to figure out ways of tricking drunk girls. The times guys or girls do get someone to to come home with them for a one-night stand they wish they hadn’t. They find the other person so generally repulsive. From what I know, most people don’t wake up and say “wow I did really well for myself, I find this person so phsyically attractive and amazing that I am glad that I now have them in my life.” While, in the meantime they are missing out on so many incredibly amazing moments. Go to a dance club because you enjoy dancing or enjoy other people dancing, go to the bar because you honestly enjoy other people’s company if you take someone home with you to have sex with enjoy having sex but don’t base your whole existence around that 5 minutes of pleasure. Otherwise you will one day wake up and have only lived for approximately two hours of pleasure and that the rest of your life may as well not have happened. I know I may have Aspergers and may not truly understand how incredible having sex with multiple partners truly is but at least that is my two cents take them or leave them for whatever they are worth.

What we all like to think one night stands are        Have a One Night Stand 

What a one night stand looks like

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Picture of Homer Simpson from

Envisioned one night stand from  

One night what it’s actually like from

Shake and Cake from Paul Little


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