Aspergers on my big old stupid mouth

Posted: October 13, 2012 in aspergers, life, Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , ,

Mouth  Clip Art

I have the biggest stupidest mouth. My mouth is so culturally inept that it is quite saddening. I don’t mean that in terms of shooting my mouth off and saying stupid things I do that too. No I mean it is culturally inept literally. Last night at comedy I tried to copy my aboriginal friend and go mweigh and no matter how hard I tried it did not come out right. I mean its not that other caucasian people can’t do it, I mean my other Caucasian friend tried it and was able to imitate the sound on the first try, while I on the other hand could not. It’s not just about imitating sounds from other cultures, that I can’t do like rolling my R’s when trying to learn Spanish, I can’t even make the sounds from my own culture. I am Jewish, I look Jewish, I have a Jewish last name but for the life of my I can’t make the h sound for words using the heit sofit in them an example of this is challah.

Challah the Jewish bread we eat on Seders. Yes I can say it like all my christian friends its not the word that’s at all difficult it is the Jewish sound at the beginning in it that gives me trouble.


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Don’t even get me started at how bad I am at doing foreign accents. I love to do accents who doesn’t? Girls dig guys with foreign accents, it really gets their motors going, however, when I try it comes out ridiculously and not at all like the accent I am trying to imitate. I even had an Australian girl and a Canadian girltrying to helpteach me how to do an Australian accent at a party a few weeks back and despite us working on it for like 15 minutes it still came out ridiculously when I tried. It is also not a genetic thing as my sister can pull off a fine South African accent, no its a me thing.

It could be that my tongue is too enormous for my mouth and that it has no room to move around. Or it could be that my tongue is weak and never got muscle toned correctly. It could also be that my bottom jaw needed to be realigned growing up and I had to have cosmetic surgery so that it would be in the correct alignment and despite having had this surgery I had missed out on learning how to make sounds at the right stage of life and after that stage it is impossible to learn. This is the case with languages for the most part and that is why it is best to start children on a second language when they are very young and their mind and tongue are still able to adapt.

I don’t know the answer to this conundrum, all I know is my mouth is big and stupid and does not let me perform all the cool tricks at parties like everyone else. I guess this is something I should be used to by now, right, not being able to do what everyone else can. It’s still very annoying and I don’t like it.

  1. Not many people could do the R sound in Spanish. Therefore I’m not brave enough to learn Spanish. I think some skills are born, not learnt. I couldn’t roll my tongue; I couldn’t click my fingers. But some people are able to. There’s no need to be too harsh on yourself.

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