Making new friends shouldn’t be this difficult

Posted: November 7, 2012 in relationships
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Making friends really shouldn’t be so difficult. All you should really have to do is listen to the other person, have things in common and be generous. At this point, however, I have been spurned so many times that I am reluctant to keep on trying, but by golly thats what a person simply has to do. For example. I will write to someone who I have not hung out with in awhile, or someone I want to be friends with on facebook and say want to go for a drink thursday? Then either I don’t get a reply or they say they are busy. Having a date in mind and having a plan is much better than asking someone if they want to hangout sometime. Since if you don’t set a time-period they will simply say “yes sounds good” and never suggest a time.

   How can someone think of finding themselves someone who they can have intimate relationships with, if they can’t even find someone who is willing to get to know them in the first place, irregardless of gender. When I invite them to an event that I know we both like, they often say “sorry, I already have plans to go with someone else.” A person, cannot simply go cruising the gym or bar and go up to someone and be like “hey, want to go somewhere else and play video games?” They give off the wrong message and are likely to have their offer spurned. If the other person does accept their offer, however, they often will have the wrong idea in their heads and may try to kiss you which would be gross. Eww!! At the gym, you can’t see that they are watching the football game on their screen and ask them to take their earphones out of their ears so that you can invite them to your place to watch the football game. They will be weirded out and say that they have their own lives. I am aware that they have their own lives, just like I have my own life. I just want those two lives to overlap so that I can enjoy their companionship and they can enjoy mine.

  A person cannot even think of making a move on a girl if they are worried about scaring away their only friend. However, the less friends you have the more likely you are to misinterpret their thoughts and actions and develop romantic feelings when they don’t even want your companion-able feelings. It is like anything in life the more friends you have the easier the time it is making more friends. However, how do you make that first new friend?

Don’t get me wrong I do have a few good friends, not counting my family members, and am not completely lonely I just want to be able to make more.

  Alright, thank you for reading my blog if you have any suggestions don’t hestitate to post them in the comment section.

  1. Linda says:

    Randomly asking people to hang out just doesn’t work. My suggestion, which I’m sure you’ve heard before when people suggest how to meet a potential girlfriend, is go join groups, non-competative sports teams or sports lessons (like golf or tennis), classes ( photography, painting, music or pottery), etc. the more active you are in the community, the more likely you naturally develop friendships with others who may be in the same boat as you! I too suck at making friends as I am ultra shy and find it difficult approaching people but when you’re in a small, intimate class setting, everyone seems to talk to each other.

    Hope that helps.

  2. Daff says:

    I had one person come up to me (our spouses’ work bbq) and start talking about something we had in common (kids) . When it was apparent we got along fine, she asked for my phone number so we could get together some time. I was surprised but I gave it to her. Two days later, she phoned me up and invited me for coffee. So it does work, you just have to keep trying and give it time. It wouldn’t have worked at all if she had come up to me and said, “hey, you have kids, I have kids, can I have your number so we can get together?” I would have shied away from her then. But we had chatted for a good 1/2 hour to 45 mins before she asked.

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