Gobsmacking the Queen

Posted: February 6, 2015 in Uncategorized

The article below reflects the thoughts of the author and opinions and are not necessarily endorsed or shared by Autistic Productions.

   Gobsmacking the queen

            All is not right in the kingdom and no matter how well she has done representing all of us the problem starts with the royalty the queen herself. When I say kingdom I really mean the Autism-Asperger community and when I say the Queen I am obviously referring to Temple Grandin herself. While the title of Queen has been bestowed by myself there is really no denying it. Yes, the woman has very little Royal aspirations and certainly dresses more like a pauper in her cowboy boots and shirt and pants, which definitely needs updating, yet, there is no denying her power. While Hans Asperger may be the person who discovered the Autism spectrum and is the one Aspergers is named after, there is no one who is seen as more of an expert or is more closely associated with the spectrum than Temple Grandin. Whenever there is any question or need of statement or royal proclamation about the Autism spectrum everyone knows to turn towards, heck the power and fame she wields In fact, practically make her a D-list celebrity in the mainstream culture, all of her books have been best sellers she has even had a movie made her life. I also couldn’t think of anyone who could represent the community better than her.

There is no easy or pleasant way of finding fault with her. Unfortunately, what I have to do now to take her down a peg. Nevertheless, I do it with the most reverence and respect, I mean who am I to challenge or find fault in her, I am not even a charming dashing good looking rascal like Robin Hood, therefore no one will want to listen to what I have to say, but the truth is, some of her lifestyle choices have hurt the community.  The lifestyle choice that I refer to is one she made very early on in her life at age 11 while she was at boarding school she took a vow of celibacy so the nuns would give her more independence. Children make stupid decisions, I would not want anyone to scrutinize every decision I made as an eleven year old, therefore; it makes me squirm to question her decision. I mean after all as an eleven year who is actually interested in sex and furthermore if you are going to be the Judas more freedom is a better sweet deal. The problem is that the vow wasn’t like every New Year’s resolution out there, where you vow to the gym more and within two weeks have already broken it and don’t really care about it. No she has never broken this vow and there has never been any interview where it sounds like she ever struggled with it. Therefore, people not understanding the Neurotypical condition and seeing her think that all people with Aspergers are asexual. The one television character most often assumed to be on the spectrum, Sheldon Cooper on the Big Bang Theory, even calls sex coitus for crying out loud. Do you know who calls it that? People who are not having any and don’t have much interest in it and how inhumane is that?

Everyone thinks about sex. Scientists figured out that the average male thinks about sex every ten seconds, waste of a science grant, but there you have it. Granted some people think about i more than others, also some people have it more than others. The only real difference between people on the Autism Spectrum and Neurotypical is the amount that we get to have it.  Most males on the spectrum tend to lose their virginity later than Neurotypicals, go longer periods between having it, and tend to have less sex partners. We tend not to pick up on the signals that make one-stands picked up at the bar possible and tend not to gel with Neurotypical females as easily. Furthermore, females with Aspergers tend not to associate with others on the spectrum as much at least not in this town, because females have advanced social skills and therefore fit in better as Neurotypicals than their male counterparts.

The advantages other disabled groups have earned such as the right to receive assistance to be able to have the same experiences as everyone else, and subsidies that go along with it, nevertheless have not carried over to the Autism community and sex.

I think that there needs to be government assistance in this regard such as creating a fund or a tax write-off for people on the spectrum hiring prostitutes. I also don’t mean street walking prostitutes as this would ruin the experience. I think sex should be enjoyable and therefore, the fund or tax-write off should be large enough that people can afford higher end call-girls. I am not saying that it is necessary to hire the companions that millionaires have, we don’t need to go overboard here, but they also shouldn’t have to hire an underage girl or someone’s toothless grandmother that work off of the street. Many of these girls are not in their position, out of choice, but rather necessity which would ruin someone’s first time. The thought running through your head during the act should not be, God I wonder what awful choices they made leading them up to this point. I wonder what their home life was like and whether they ran away or whether someone is taking advantage of them. At that point there are many things that are more pleasant than this experience such as clipping your toenails or doing your taxes.  While there are many nymphomaniacs who are educated and are simply making money off of their passion who are working in a slightly higher bracket. Some of these girls are even university-educated, but, simply have no interest in doing porn. There is no reason why the government couldn’t even pay for the whole girlfriend experience where the two people get to know each other better before the sex, even if it is even just going to AppleBees or Dennys.  Is that too much to ask for? I think not.


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