it’s crazy and messed up and it’s all mine.

Recently, I was offered an oppertunity to be a regular contributor to the Jewish post. The articles for the newspaper will have to be tighter, shorter and more succinct than the ones I will be writing for here. I have had lots of fun writing on here about anything that has crossed my mind and from post to post the topics have been quite sporadic as I write about whatever I feel like letting my brain take me whichever direction it wanted to go as it was as free in the wind, while for the newspaper it will be much more focused as I will have to take one topic and write as much as possible on it, thus making the transition easier to follow. For that reason, I will still try to keep this blog up as an outlet of letting my creativity just flow out, which has allowed me to afterwards cherrypick the posts for stand-up comedy material. I have always had a hard time writing comedy material for its own sake, but, a blog usually has a point or a story which I am trying to tell; and therefore, are much easier to write. Also, blogs provide less pressure to be funny because they don’t need to be a laugh-a-minute. A perfect example, is this blog which is really, really, not that funny at all.

Aspergers on my biggest accomplishment

Unlike many people with Aspergers I have not always been a good reader, but becoming one, has  been one of my greatest successes and for that I owe a huge debt of gratitude to my mom and dad.

My dad was actually taken aside when I was in kindergarten and told that I may never read at grade level. Fortunately, my parents would have none of this. Instead my dad read books to me in bed every single night. Sometimes after a long day he would be so exhausted that he would fall asleep in the bed lying in the bed next to me, because no matter how tired he was, my education always came first. In addition, my mom used to bribe me to read she gave me a dime for every page I read. Soon I was racking in the dough.  However, my parents attempts to turn me into a reader did not stop there. After going to my weekly appointments at the physiotherapist because of my disability my mother would take me for lunch once a week, until, she convinced me that for the same amount of money I could get a book which I could enjoy much longer.

Unlike the other children in my family my parents bought me scholastic books from the book order. I was always so happy with my treasure that I hauled in. For a book is really the worthiest treasure a person can get. It keeps you company when you don’t have many friends and it never lets you down or ostracizes you for being different. You also set the pace and the tone when reading and you don’t need to follow other people’s rules, for example, I often cheat and read the ending before the rest of the book. A person can say “yes, but, with money you can buy lots of books”. To that I reply “okay lets just skip the middle step and you just give me the books in the first place.” I have since become an excellent reader and I have not met my match in my love of literature and I owe it all to my parents.

Aspergers on reboot

As many of you people already know that lately I have been publishing multiple blogs per day. However, I am going to be taking a break from this and may not even publish a blog per day for the next while, well I go back and rework my earlier blogs so that they are better. This is important because publishing a blog is not the final goal but rather I plan on turning some of these blogs into a book about being male and having Aspergers and hope that it will go in the quorem of other great books on this topic like Freaks, Geeks and Asperger Syndrome as well as the Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night. I will not be reposting these blogs as the change to them in order to perfect them will most likely be neligble and I don’t want to bore you by reposting old blogs again. Thank you for your continued support and time.

Sincerely

Adam Schwartz

Aspergers on going fishing

I have nothing against online dating, many people have met their partner this way. There is no less dignity to finding someone online as there is at the bar for those who are shyer and don’t have a way with their words. Dating a colleague is a major no-no and can only lead to trouble especially when everyone you work with is at least ten years your senior. I have asked my friends to keep their eyes open for single girls who they think would be a good fit for me most of the time they come up with a major blank. Maybe they are ashamed of me, maybe they are worried that their female friends will never look at them the same way again. Maybe they just don’t think anyone is good enough for me who can tell? But chances are its not the last one. That leaves several options such as taking a pottery class  or hoping that a girl will want to talk to me after my set and get to know a funny likeable guy. So far this has not happened, and I have been to busy with comedy for the former. I could hit on patrons who come into the library and check out their materials, but for one thing this is creepy for another thing it would probably ultimately end up costing me my job.

      Then there is online dating, I have a hard enough time making small talk in daily conversation with friends who are female, nevermind trying to read someones bio and pick out an aspect that I can make conversation about and they are usually quite clear they do not simply want small talk such as “hey” or “hi” or “what’s up?” Nor do they want something to forward and flirtatious which I have a hard time being in the first place. I simply do not want to scare them off, therefore, I don’t know what to write in that all important first message which breaks or makes a relationship. “Like nice Tattoo” “you like animals me too. What kind of dog do you have? I have a kern terrier?” or “so I see you like travelling where did you travel last to, what is your favourite destination?” feel free to use any of these lines I have and none of them have worked for me. “You like funny guys, I see well I am stand up comedian!” 

     Also all the girls have these really flirty pictures of themselves trying to look sexy but then they talk about how they are simple girls who only care about spending time with their families and friends. In addition, well I am photogenic enough I really don’t do sexy pictures well.  What am I supposed to do show them my flabby stomache where my rockhard abs are supposed to be?

      Another problem could be that I usually only contact pretty girls out of my league after reading their bios and in turn only get contacted by girls who don’t care about me as a person but want to date me because I am cute.

   People always think they have found the new best website for dating such as Jdate or another program but they are all equally bad as plenty of Fish.

In the meantime I can just sit by my computer at work and wait for a reply.

Aspergers on the fallacy of statistics

How do you make sense of how successful your blog is? Anyway you do it, the best a person can be working on is misleading information.

Page views: Some people may judge how successful they have been based on the number of people who have clicked on their pages. However, the page views never tell a person how many people have actually read the article or whether they clicked away after three sentences. Did they read the whole article? A person could argue that it is better to have fewer people view it who actually really liked it then many page views of people indifferent to the article and the blog. Statistically, however, a person always wants to see a bigger number not a smaller number, not stopping to try and figure out the story behind what they are seeing. Also page views can go up or down based off of what tags a person uses, someone who is into fashion may come across an article I wrote expecting a more indepth look into fashion while I used fashion in a more widespread way but felt the need to include that tag. A person into fashion would most likely click away. While missing a few tags makes it harder for people who would actually be interested in the article miss it.

Most viewed articles: See what I had to say about tagging articles in the previous paragraph and how this to is misleading instead of a way of judging what kind of articles you should be writing about.

Likes: A person can click like on an article that they enjoyed. However, this statistic like all statistics is misleading. What do they like about it? Do they like the image that you included? do they like the small segment of the article that they read or did they read the whole thing?  Are they supportive friends or are they strangers who have no personal connection? A supportive friend is great but they are often more predisposed to being generous. However, it is equally important to trying to keep them happy. A stranger clicking “like” to an article makes one feel better that someone you don’t know is reading your article and enjoying it. A cynical person would suggest, however, that viewing many pages other people wrote and clicking “like” is a good way to get people to come back to your own page.

Number of people following: This statistic is also a heartwarming statistic that does not tell the full story. What about all the people who read a couple of your article but don’t click follow because they don’t want to be bombarded by email? Is it better to have a small number of loyal followers and have a really honest personal blog that many people may not relate to? or is it better to aim for a mainstream audience where the followers may not be as die-hard? In addition, just because you are following another person’s blog does not mean you read the whole thing, or that you even check it regularly.

Personal feelings: A person may feel that the article they just wrote is the best or that they are writing a really good, important blog. That they are really successful and that the people reading them will really enjoy their work. That they know what is important. However, personal feelings is the most subjective biased way of deciding anything and therefore, quite possibly the least accurate way.

Messages: Who doesn’t like some back and forth communication on one of their blogs. However, not every person who reads a blog will have anything to say about it or even if they do they may be exhausted from a long day of work therefore, may simply click “like” and who is to good to turn these people away. That doesn’t mean that they didn’t take anything away or that they didn’t gain some new insight that just means that they didn’t have anything they had anything to say or that they wanted to say at that moment in time.

A mix of all the measures: Some people may argue that you can only get a complete picture by taking into account all the other statistics and indicators in order to truly tell how successful you are, however, if the statistics are all lies or  misleading at best how do you honestly think that by looking at them you will get a clearer picture? That is like trying to figure out a really tough puzzle by looking at senseless riddles.

Financial success: If anyone achieves financial success, gets tickets to shows or gets any real recognition for their work on a blog in the outside world that would be rare and second, yes that would be a real indicator of a successful blog. However, just because your blog never nets you that perfect job does not mean that it is not good or worth reading and writing.

It simply means that success is fleeting and hard to nail down. Write your blog if you enjoy it don’t worry about succeess, and the second you stop enjoying it simply stop writing it.